Comments on: Unfinished business

By: Angela

Angela — Thu, 01 Oct 2015 18:00:17 +0000

I appreciate and enjoy your whole approach of expecting and accepting ‘stressful seasons’. Life is not a novel, sitcom, fairy tale, or even a reality show- it is real life, with peaks and valleys. It is often hard to see one while we are hiking through the other.
Thanks for putting your ideas out into the world and being an inspiration to strong women !

By: Ana

Ana — Wed, 30 Sep 2015 18:04:33 +0000

Good review! Between yours and the NYT’s, I am even more sure I have no desire to read this book. In fact, I saw the NYT review and thought “her again? what more could there possibly be to say?”. I like particularly how you point out the fallacy of “one women has a hard time with her kid”=”women can’t work & be there for their families”. It was bizarre that she twisted her own unique & personal experience and used it to make these sweeping declarations about all women everywhere.

By: Ana

Ana — Wed, 30 Sep 2015 18:01:38 +0000

In reply to lauravanderkam. I read the comments, too. I don't think they were "strange"---they were expressing a pretty deeply held view about women's place in the family & workplace.

By: J

Wed, 30 Sep 2015 14:38:08 +0000

I liked your review. The book and the review made me think of this story on the Lean In website (written by someone I know a little):

http://leanin.org/stories/deb-gruenfeld/

Both this story and A-M S’s story suggest the obvious. There are situations in life– your kid repeatedly getting arrested is one of them– when all of the adults in the household are going to pull back on other things and put nearly 100% of their energy into that situation. And those situations are hard and draining.

And, I think its good to acknowledge that some people have been dealt cards that make that situation more permanent than temporary. If you have a profoundly disabled child, for example, your work-life balance is equation is going to look very different. And you don’t really know what its going to be the day you have the baby.

I can imagine that someone has been through one of those situations can be very judgmental about someone who writes work-life management books and who hasn’t been through one of those situations (yet!). But doesn’t A-M S understand that she had a lot more options for dealing with her crisis because she spent the first 45 years or so “leaning in”? (That is why she had the tenured job at Princeton consolation prize in the first place).

Great job.

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Wed, 30 Sep 2015 12:11:20 +0000

In reply to Natalie.

@Natalie- don’t read the comments! I don’t know what it is with the WSJ. Despite the pay wall, there seem to be a fair number of…strange…commenters.

By: Natalie

Natalie — Wed, 30 Sep 2015 02:31:24 +0000

Loved your review, but the comments are painful!

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 23:54:48 +0000

In reply to Lynda. @Lynda- thank you! So glad you liked it.

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 23:54:31 +0000

In reply to Pamela.

@Pamela – Yes, that’s one of the most bizarre aspects of the whole tale. I understand that in literature on women and work and life it’s practically a requirement to begin with your own story of woe. But I really think her own story is not particularly relevant to much of the actual pain points and policy aspects of this discussion.

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 23:53:01 +0000

In reply to ARC.

@ARC- I haven’t read the Mindy books, but I should – maybe some plane reading coming up!

My day yesterday was like that – left at 7:30 to drive to train station, home around 10:30 and dealing with stuff after that. It’s OK to do some days. Too many days and I get tired though 🙁

By: Lynda

Lynda — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 19:46:26 +0000

I love the review Laura!