Comments on: Musings on I Know How She Does It https://lauravanderkam.com/2023/04/musings-on-i-know-how-she-does-it/ Writer, Author, Speaker Sat, 29 Apr 2023 11:48:50 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 By: Sara https://lauravanderkam.com/2023/04/musings-on-i-know-how-she-does-it/#comment-450652 Sat, 29 Apr 2023 11:48:50 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=19110#comment-450652 Both my husband and I work full-time plus in healthcare with night and weekend work. Many of my male co-workers have school age kids and stay-at-home wives. My husband and I have to coordinate our schedules to make sure there are no conflicts and someone is at home with the kids. Despite that, I still feel like I have more flexibility if I need to stay longer at work or if I want to do something by myself or with a friend in my free time. It seems like some of the stay-at-home wives make a point of arranging their husbands’ private time in great detail and get all bent out of shape if something changes. Also, their kids seem to be used to much more service than ours. When the wives for some reason can’t chauffeur the kids to school (due to sickness or travel for example) then the dads show up for work a half hour late (or even take vacation) because it would be too much to ask the kids to wake up early or just get themselves to school (we live in a city where walking/ biking/public transportation are available and safe, as is before and after-school care).

]]> By: Emily https://lauravanderkam.com/2023/04/musings-on-i-know-how-she-does-it/#comment-450533 Fri, 28 Apr 2023 23:31:09 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=19110#comment-450533 I think this is a great perspective, one I think I felt but couldn’t quite articulate. Thank you for putting this to words.

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2023/04/musings-on-i-know-how-she-does-it/#comment-450300 Fri, 28 Apr 2023 02:11:40 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=19110#comment-450300 In reply to Karen B.

@Karen – thanks! Yep, being a sole (or primary) breadwinner comes with all sorts of pressures. It’s good for both men and women to recognize that, however people wind up divvying up household responsibilities.

]]> By: Karen B https://lauravanderkam.com/2023/04/musings-on-i-know-how-she-does-it/#comment-450296 Fri, 28 Apr 2023 01:59:07 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=19110#comment-450296 Great post! I Know How She Does It is my favourite of your books. And really good point about the harm done to men by this narrative. For the first couple years of our marriage I was not earning a salary that could support a family. My husband felt a sense of relief when I landed a job with an equivalent paycheque to his, and was willing to move to make it happen. I’d love to read a longer piece from you on this topic.

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