Comments on: How do parents counter the impression of being less productive? (Request for sources)

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Fri, 09 Jun 2017 16:03:43 +0000

In reply to DS.

@DS – good for you. The one upside of billable hours is that there is accountability — and you can see that you are being more profitable than people who are in theory more “available.”

By: Sara

Sara — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 22:27:04 +0000

I have a typical 9-5 job. I started when my daughter was three months old. I have flexibility to work from home but try to go in four days a week. I am very transparent with the people whose opinions matter most about me when I’m working from home about whether or not I have childcare that day. I hope that by being upfront the times I don’t, they will recognize that I am being productive from home. For these people, I work late on the rare occasion I need to. Anyone else, I say I need to leave without providing an explanation.

By: Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life

Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 20:13:47 +0000

While I hate that parents, and especially mothers, get penalized for having children, I’m one of the only women in my current company that has children and I hate the idea that I have to pretend that my children don’t exist in order to be perceived as productive.

I manage this by balancing when and if I mention them – I bring them up when it’s an unusual and difficult to navigate issue that will impact more than just my day, but not when it’s regular stuff like daycare runs and routine doctor’s visits. I just take care of my business and get on with it.

By: DS

DS — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 01:46:58 +0000

Ha! Probably too late for your article, but billable hours… I billed 137 in May while my coworkers billed 105 or less.

That was with spending 16 hours coordinating cases with the owner and leaving “early” some days for kids stuff.

By: Noelle

Noelle — Wed, 07 Jun 2017 21:04:05 +0000

Hi Laura: I have two young kids (6 months & 2.5 years) and my husband and I are both military. I can definitely tell you that I’m way more productive since having kids! Being more productive isn’t about how much time you put in, it’s how much work you accomplish in the time you do put in. I actually wrote an article on this topic last year: http://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/how-to/growth-strategies/2016/04/leader-time-6-tips-for-women-leaders-coast-guard.html

I love Verily and the articles you write for them; it’s how I found you so I’m looking forward to reading your next article for them!

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Tue, 06 Jun 2017 16:41:12 +0000

In reply to Sneakers.

@Sneakers – I think this lesson to not leave things until the last minute is one of the key breakthroughs of working parenthood. You might not have that last minute available to you in a way you did without kids — so don’t count on it being there! Very good advice.

By: Sneakers

Sneakers — Tue, 06 Jun 2017 15:52:42 +0000

I’ve done both (i.e. not said why I’m out and been transparent) depending my management – and now a senior manager at a large IT company. I never, ever say the reason I didn’t meet a deadline is because of my daughter – and nor do I turn down travel because of her schedule (I often book vacation days in advance for key events for her to protect those days.) I started becoming more transparent when younger women asked me how I could be an involved parent and still work the hours that I did. I drop at 5pm to pick up my daughter – unless there’s a fire drill. Also, I used to leave things until the early morning to complete – once we had our daughter, I never went to bed until everything for work was ready for the next day because I quickly learned that the one morning I wanted to be up at 5 am proofing a presentation, etc. was the one morning that our daughter would be up at 2am sick.

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Tue, 06 Jun 2017 00:30:40 +0000

In reply to Lily.

@Lily- I think I would get turned off by people constantly saying things like “can’t do Tuesday, the kids have an event.” It would be especially bad if it became an excuse for things not getting done — like “oh, we can’t do that deadline because end of year events with the kids are so crazy.” Ugh. It is still a job! I kind of like the silent approach. The problem with that, of course, is that a lot of women (and possibly some men) feel like they need explicit permission to do things. Many don’t like to think they’re “getting away” with stuff.

By: Lily

Lily — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 20:26:34 +0000

I’m interested to see what you find out on this one, as it’s something I have a lot of conflicting feelings about. I used to work at a consultancy where I was the only woman – the men ducked in and out all the time, rarely mentioning where they were going, and sometimes no one even noticed they were gone until they came back. Turned out they were often doing the school run, or going to a parent-teacher meeting – they just didn’t need to share. It was from them I learned the split-shift technique, and started heading home in time for dinner with my husband but still pulling the long hours needed to get my work done. Now I am in a very different organization – 99% women – and people are constantly telling me ‘I can’t do Tuesday morning cos the kids have an event’ or ‘Gotta run – kid is sick’. On the one hand I feel like saying ‘I don’t care why you can’t make the meeting, just tell me when you CAN meet – stop using the kids as an excuse’. But on the other hand it’s nice to be in a workplace where family is valued, and people are sharing their lives. However, as someone without kids, I wonder if that model sometimes fails to acknowledge that – if it works for the type of work – everyone benefits from flexibility – not just those with kids. The ‘quiet’ model means I can attend my doctors appointment without needing to explain or make excuses.

By: EB

EB — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 15:44:17 +0000

I struggle with this as I want it both ways. I don’t want people to think that my being a parent and affects my work, but at the same time I want them to respect boundaries I may not expect other non-parents to have. For instance, I have been grumbling (privately) about a work dinner with a client an hour away. I was asked to attend, and I was irritated that I felt like I had to go even though a more junior member of the team could have done it. (He is not married and doesn’t have kids). But then I thought about it and realized it probably would have been indicative of a worse situation if they had put him above me at this client dinner.