Comments on: Activity Tetris

By: Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam — Thu, 13 Feb 2020 15:24:01 +0000

In reply to Caryn.

@Caryn – I don’t think it sounds crazy – different families have different tolerances for activities, and as you pointed out, there are some extra benefits for your kids with special needs. We have likewise tried to keep Wednesday evenings free — it’s now our “Wednesday night homework club.” But yes, all that driving on your own would be tough!

By: Caryn

Caryn — Thu, 13 Feb 2020 04:31:53 +0000

I wrote down my 5 kids weekly activities and then deleted it because I think people would be horrified by all we do. I drive kids 27 places every week, plus to 4-5 irregular activities each month. Sometimes I think we’re overcommitted, but a couple kids are in an activities they participate in 5-6 times a week, 2 have developmental disabilities, so their activities provide supervised social opportunities for them, and I included weekly medical, occupational and physical therapy appts. Somehow we’ve kept Weds evening, Fri afternoon & evening and most of Sunday free. When my husband couldn’t drive for 3 months last Fall it about did me in, but mostly it works for us.

By: Irena

Irena — Thu, 06 Feb 2020 15:15:55 +0000

In reply to Elisabeth. I am in a same boat, we have two kids and each is doing one extracurricular activity per week (on Saturdays). I am also very selective about Birthday parties, because i need my time to get stuff done on the weekends. My husband and i both work 8-5 five days a week with no flexibility to work from home. and the kids are in the before-and-after school care from 7 am till 6 pm. I can't imagine driving anywhere after we all got home at 6!

By: Diana

Diana — Thu, 06 Feb 2020 02:47:14 +0000

I love this analogy Laura. It’s such a great visual to keep when the overwhelming feelings start to trickle in.

By: Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam — Wed, 05 Feb 2020 20:35:17 +0000

In reply to Elisabeth.

@Elisabeth – I think different people have different levels of tolerance for activity. That’s not good or bad, it’s just different. Though yes, with 5 kids, there is going to be a lot of stuff, even if each particular kid doesn’t have too many things.

By: Jill

Jill — Wed, 05 Feb 2020 19:44:38 +0000

In reply to Elisabeth. I am in this same boat and have so much guilt that my two children are not involved in many extracurriculars. They each do one activity one day per week on the weekends. My husband and I are both teachers and we have two children. Ideally, teachers have awesome schedules, however we both tutor and work extra jobs because teacher salaries are just not enough to subsidize a family of four in NJ. We don't have outside childcare, funds or the mental capacity to figure out extracurriculars. So far, they don't realize what they are missing. I think I have more guilt about it than they do!

By: Elisabeth

Elisabeth — Wed, 05 Feb 2020 00:22:39 +0000

I feel like I might be the odd-person out here (and Laura’s case is exceptional in that she has FIVE children, so there would be way more scheduling than I face with just 2), but I feel guilt over how FEW extracurriculars my children are in. I come from a family of 4 and we had almost no organized activities as kids (a smattering of sports, church participation, a bit of music) and all turned out to be relatively well-adjusted, high-functioning adults. In my circles, it seems like a given that all my children’s peers are in constant motion. While I agree that it takes lots of creative work to juggle various schedules (and Laura seems to be doing it very admirably), I know a lot of parents who are running ragged (emotionally, physically and financially) to keep the proverbial ball in the air. Could taking a step back from the Tetris game be something worth considering?

I feel like the few events my kids do participate are exhausting enough. I can’t imagine doing it with a seemingly endless stream of lessons, performances and practices (not to mention the birthday parties…which I also am selective about attending)!

By: Maureen

Maureen — Tue, 04 Feb 2020 05:46:45 +0000

Oh yes! We’ve got two hockey players each complete with trainings/games for two teams. Driving alone is a game of Tetris, e.g. Tuesdays I pick up the daughter directly from school so the son can make it to his practice on time with the daughter having to wait 15-30 minutes at the rink before her presence is needed for her training.
The advance level was in August, when pre-season ice trainings were at an indoor rink thirty minutes away often on Wednesdays — a day that I work and that the son has a private language class (weekly) and religious education class (more or less every other week). I’m always in envy when folks say their weekly planning happens in less than fifteen minutes — logistics for two kids means my planning takes a lot longer.

By: Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam — Mon, 03 Feb 2020 23:19:59 +0000

In reply to Marthe. @Marthe - another great analogy!

By: Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam — Mon, 03 Feb 2020 23:18:55 +0000

In reply to Gillian. @Gillian - that does feel very satisfying. There goes another row!