I had hoped to go to Longwood Gardens on Saturday night, but all the kids had done stuff during the day (playdates! skiing! tech rehearsal for a play!) so no one wanted to go. Rather than fight to drive an hour and walk around in the bitter cold (the wind chill was something like 11 degrees) my husband and I elected to go out to eat instead while the big kids babysat. We went to a tapas place — it was really good. Maybe I can add that to the list of first-weekend-of-January traditions!

Something I don’t hope to add to the tradition list: We just got the robo-calls from the district that schools are closed tomorrow. It doesn’t really look like we’re getting that much snow, but we shall see. There will be a lot of screen time, but if it does really snow, maybe there will be some sledding too…

In the meantime, here’s a little sonnet on singing Bach’s B-Minor Mass…

For this, I leave the house by six-fifteen.
For this, I sit in traffic near downtown.
For this, I work to make melismas clean
until the notes sound as they’re meant to sound.

For this, three hours on a Monday night.
For this, some ninety minutes in the day.
For this I’m testing out the parts, the tight
chromatic harmonies, the rhythmic play.

For this he labored centuries ago.
For this he pulled a life’s work in a piece.
Did he imagine how we’d get to know
such genius that with time does not decrease

in beauty? When it strikes we stand in awe.
Whatever cost, it’s worth it — worth it all.

Getting out the door with crowds of people — and occasionally a dog — is just a pain. Is everyone wearing shoes and a coat? Do we have masks if we’ll need them? Do we have a packed diaper bag or at least a diaper and wipes in my purse? Even for shorter trips, everything goes smoother if we have water and snacks. Five kids require a lot of snacks, and then there is never universal happiness with the snacks I have packed. Outings in the Covid era have the additional complication of timed reservations. In general I am not opposed — it forces pre-commitment which, given the pain required to get out the door, is probably a good thing — but it does nudge up the time pressure.

There are, of course, ways to make the process slightly easier. I have taken to simply keeping a packed snack bag in the pantry and occasionally throwing other stuff in it. If you are hungry enough you will take what is on offer. I usually just have a diaper and wipes in my purse (unless I don’t…which was fun for a very messy diaper at Longwood Gardens last weekend!). Shoes and coats are required to be in the mudroom so at least theoretically time won’t be wasted hunting for them.

But there is no way to make the process seamless. Getting out the door is a pain, but if I refused to accept that pain we’d never go anywhere. Which would itself be painful over time. So the reality is that every family trip is going to start with some aggravation, and it will probably start at least a few minutes later than planned. Oh well.

In any case, I enjoyed ice skating and seeing the holiday trains. So at least there’s that!

As befits middle age, it has been a year of coping with various maladies. Back pain from carrying a toddler around mostly on one hip! Last year at this time I was just figuring out that I was going to need to eat (and drink) differently to deal with my chronic congestion and sore throat. I have not enjoyed this change at all, but I am making my peace with it. My husband and I went to a retirement party for one of his colleagues last night. I did not touch the cheese or wine, which felt very responsible of me.

I am trying to keep a sense of humor about the fact that I am coping with middle-aged maladies while still breastfeeding a baby.

I am hoping, by the time I turn 44, to learn how to buy and apply make-up. This is a topic of approximately zero interest to me, but eventually it becomes clear that it would be better to wear make-up than not wear it (hello toddler sleep woes…). I just watched a YouTube video of an attractive young lady applying a color corrector under her eyes. Who knew?

I’m sure it will be another year with the usual things: writing, speaking, podcasting, running, singing. I’m glad I’ve made space for these things in my life.

My birthday plans include going out to dinner with my husband, taking the family to the Brandywine museum for the holiday trains, going ice skating, and getting a massage early next week. If the weather cooperates, there may be a long run too. And probably lots of decluttering/moving stuff to the garage at the new house to get ready for our move in a month or so… I should be celebrating my next birthday in new surroundings. After this project that started around my last birthday, it is about time!

Photo: From the family photo shoot with Yana Shellman