@Amy – you could budget for the sitter and then do something as a couple if he winds up not working. Or each go do your own thing (even errands – often more pleasant when child-free). Or use the sitter to spend one on one time with the kids. There are reasons to prioritize an extra set of hands even if both parents are theoretically available.

@Virginia- yep, the picking-the-fight symptom – you are good to recognize this. And smart to go ahead and book the sitter if he has trouble doing it for himself!

I know someone who works an on-call shift while the other parent is at work, and they use an on-call arrangement with a babysitter — pay some fee to have the sitter on-call, and more (of course if they actually the sitter’s services. Would something like that be an option? Of course, over time it might not prove to be a money saver, depending on how much you actually use it.

And I am totally with you re: my 9 year old. She is a mother’s helper with a neighbor’s child across the street, but when she gets paid for said job she (often) comes home and sets the money down in the yard to go play. Shockingly, the money often disappears. Like, a $20 bill. So ready for responsibility and trust in some ways, so not in others.

I am terrible about planning childcare during solo parenting time. Mostly because that time can be unpredictable. My husband is on call one week per month. Sometimes he works 80 hours of overtime, sometimes its 0 hours. I am cheap, so I have a hard time paying for a sitter when there’s a decent chance that I won’t end up needing one. But I end up kicking myself for not getting a sitter when I’m alone with both kids for 3 days straight with no help. Maybe that should be a Q2 goal haha.

@SHU- exactly. When he naps he stays up late and he’s up early. Which is the same thing that happens to me!

@Natasha – yes, the errands are tough with everyone. Our cupboards felt a little bare by the end of the weekend but running to the grocery store with all of them felt like it would require so much effort that I made myself be inspired by what was in the fridge/pantry.