I’ve been working part-time for years and my work is very sporadic. I can have a week full of work…or could have literally no paid working hours in a week (both jobs are salaried, but the mental side of it is still daunting, even though the hours worked don’t impact a financial bottom line). It also makes it hard to ramp up into “work” mode or “home productivity” mode since I’m never sure if I’ll be interrupted by pressing work requirements.

One thing I might suggest is batching? I’ve been doing this for a while with good success and Laura has discussed this too. Having a space set aside physically (e.g. a tote that contains all your mail/bills) and mentally for tasks and having a running to-do list for each of those batch items. I batch: cooking, paperwork, communications, gift-buying, budget/finances etc. While I might not be able to plan to get everything in all categories done on the timeline I’d prefer, it feels more complete if I tackle one area of life/leisure/home management/work and see it through. I’m also endlessly more efficient this way. It’s a bit like doing Deep Work. Multitasking is a dangerous productivity strategy…

I can also relate to @Amy. Although this has changed significantly due to COVID, my husband used to travel extensively, often at the last minute. As a result, I couldn’t rely on him for anything. All house management, kid appointments, mechanic visits…everything, basically, I had to take over since we could never predict when he would be home, where he would be in the world etc. I handled, singlehandedly, the oversight of our basement getting jackhammered, the replacement of a broken sewer line, moving to a new house, a 10-day terrifying fever with a toddler…The emotional toll was huge. While I can’t imagine single-parenting, dual-parenting with a spouse that has a very erratic schedule is a different beast (and we have minimal childcare). My kids would be excited for their birthday and them…bam, Daddy’s going to be away. So hard. We were also constantly in a state of jet lag, which of course impacted our whole family. Phew – as much as having everyone home all the time has its moments (many, many tough moments), I do not miss the travel!

2. As a partner of someone with a more crazy schedule than above, the emotional load/toll is a lot. I can’t count on my spouse for almost anything routinely. That’s not a character flaw, it’s a result of his schedule. He works about 60 hours a week, can be forced to stay and work late, can be called any time day or night, and takes 1-2 weeks of 24/7 per month (Call weeks are usually 80-120 hours in 7 days). As a parent of small kids I have to pre-plan anything important to me. I have to have a sitter for everything. The emotional labor of this is a lot. It’s not something easily shared.

I think sometimes when you have a lot of autonomy over your own time, it can be difficult to put yourself in the shoes of someone who has little autonomy. But those sorts of jobs are critical to the infrastructure of society.

I also have a job similar to this where I am on call outside of my scheduled work days. Laura, for those of us on call or who do rotating shift work, I would love it if you would discuss how to factor in family time, date night, hanging out with your kids, and spending time with friends. I really struggle with these things in an ever changing schedule!