I have not entirely succeeded in my project of getting everything done for work so I can take next week off. But there is today and tomorrow.

Anyway, the good news is that the presents are wrapped. The children all wrapped (with some help) their sibling presents for each other (they will open these on the 23rd). We have matching family pajamas ready to go for the 24th. Children who are in the Christmas pageant have practiced their lines. Almost all the under-the-tree presents are wrapped, with only one present still outstanding, and the tracking information says it is in the USPS Philadelphia PA Network Distribution Center. So that’s a positive. I bought these cute little Christmas tree stocking holders for our mantle so we can actually hang stockings this year! My husband went to Wegmans last night and bought food for the extended family Christmas get-together.

It has been a very merry and full month. And there’s more stuff to come! But January will be slower. Life tends to come in waves. Though with five kids, there are always logistics and planning to be done (I started on the camp spreadsheet for summer…that is going to be a January project).

In other news: Please join me and Dorie Clark for a chat over at LinkedIn at noon, eastern, today! We’ll be talking Tranquility by Tuesday and time management in general. You can access the chat directly here (https://www.dorieclark.com/better)

Also, I’m hosting my annual time tracking challenge from January 9-15, 2023. If you’ve been looking for a good time to try tracking your time, this could be it. You can sign up here to get daily motivational emails.

And then, stay tuned for the first Tranquility by Tuesday Challenge! From January 20th to March 23rd we’ll be going through one of the nine TBT rules each week. I’ll have a sign-up for that coming in the new year.

This is, of course, funny, because the average American watches several hours of TV per day. If you’re not trying your hammock, or writing thank-you letters, or writing in your journal, it’s not because there’s no time.

But anyway, in the July 2010 issue, Real Simple is at it again, with a new question: If you were suddenly given a free day this summer, how would you spend it?

As the editors elaborate, “Imagine 24 glorious hours with zero obligations. Maybe you would go skydiving, or watch every episode of Glee, or take that long nap you’ve been craving since, oh, 2008. Here’s a sampling of the mini-vacation fantasies on the minds of Real Simple readers.”

The answers show a shocking similarity to those given to the 15 minutes question.

In 2007, one reader reported that she would spend some time “chopping, prepping, and cooking large, healthy meals ahead of time.” In 2010, a reader fantasizes about “cooking my family an ambitious meal.”

In 2007, one reader wanted to “get back to reading;” in 2010, “catching up on my reading” makes the list.

In 2007, one reader fantasized about spending that extra 15 minutes kissing her husband; in 2010, one reader reports that she would spend the free day “in bed with my husband.”

In 2007, a reader spoke of extra time to “snuggle with my young daughters.” In 2010, another reader fantasizes about “getting dirty in the garden with my 17-month-old daughter.”

Yep, from organizing the house to organizing the photos, it doesn’t seem to matter if you’re given another 15 minutes or another 24-hours. In this alternate universe you’ll get it done.

But, of course, it raises the question: why do we need an alternate universe? Even if we’ve got little kids, most of us could probably call in a few chits and get extended family to take them for 24 hours (or trade off with our spouses). We could take a day off work. We could deal with bills and other things ahead of time so we could get 24 hours on our calendars mostly cleared. Within the 2016 hours of summer, we could probably scrape together a spare 24.

The point is, if you’re not doing something that sounds wonderful to you now, like gardening with your kids or kissing your husband or reading, you’re not going to do it if the universe grants you another 15 minutes or another 24 hours. There is plenty of time to live the lives we want in the 168 hours we’ve got. It just requires leaving fantasy world, and making plans and setting priorities in this real one.

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But it’s worth looking closely at this, because I believe that Robinson’s research is pretty accurate.

First, the mom shown most prominently in the Dr. Phil clip has an infant. An infant really does demand care pretty much around the clock (though they sleep a lot too. My baby is sleeping right now. My toddler is at preschool. If I weren’t working, this could be free time if I wanted it to be).

But children are only infants for a very short time. If you’re a mom of a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old, they’re not as intensely, physically dependent on you. Yes, some moms spend a lot of time shuttling teens to sports or supervising homework. But there’s plenty of research showing that the average child really doesn’t spend that much time in activities, or doing homework, despite the cultural narrative of the overscheduled child. So it’s not particularly fair to use a mom of an infant as an example to counter the 30-40 hour claim, when that is not the average experience that characterizes most of women’s years in motherhood.

Another factor driving up the totals is that the average person watches plenty of television. If you believe Nielsen, we watch over 30 hours a week, though time diaries put this number lower. Time watching television is hard to characterize as anything but leisure. Think about that: anyone watching the Dr. Phil show on how moms have no time is actually using some of their free time right there.

People also argue that time spent in your minivan waiting to pick up the kids from soccer practice shouldn’t count as leisure time, but why not? If you plan ahead, you could spend that 20 minutes reading a great book. You could go for a brisk walk around the soccer fields and get some exercise. Many of the people I interviewed for 168 Hours did just that.

Anyway, in the course of writing 168 Hours, I logged my time for multiple weeks, and I’m still in the habit of noting how I allocate my hours. I can tell you that, right now, I have more than 20 hours of discretionary time during every 168 hour cycle.

Here’s how that worked this past week (during which I worked about 35 hours, slept 56 or so, and spent 35 or so on childcare). Deep in the throes of marathon training, I exercised for close to 8 hours. I had choir on Tuesday night, which took 4 hours. This past week I went out with my husband one night, so that was another 4 hours. I generally get at least 1 hour free after the kids go to bed (I tend to spend another 30 minutes to 1 hour working then, too). Figure another 4 hours there of reading, puttering, hanging out with my husband, etc. We can often get them both down for a simultaneous nap for an hour on a weekend day, or at least get the baby down, and Jasper watching a video. Plus I went to church (2 hours total).  That’s at least 24 hours there, and I’m not counting the random minutes I got to read the paper here and there. Or my trip Friday afternoon to visit another friend and her baby, and my brother, because I had Sam along. That could still be counted as childcare (though it felt pretty leisurely to me). It is quite possible I spent some time watching TV too, though I don’t remember having turned the set on for myself (when I turn it on for Jasper it’s usually because I’m tending to Sam).

Anyway, that adds up to a lot of time. Not quite 30 hours, but not far off either.  Hopefully Dr. Phil will give the research a fair shake.

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