Comments on: The Sibling Baby-Sitters Club

By: Louise

Louise — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 11:43:31 +0000

“Um, spirited” – I love it ;-D
But back on topic; if and when to enlist paid help from one’s older kids. I guess for us it all boils down to which babysitting is part and parcel of being a family and helping each other out and which is a favor you would compensate an outside for as well… In this vein we ask our older two (13 and 15 yrs old) to come straight home from school rather than hang out with friends if we need them to spend an hour or so with their younger brother who will do fine on the ipad but we’re just more comfortable with someone being there. We don’t pay them for this, as this is their home where they can get on with whatever they want and it’s not unreasonable to be there for each other as a family.
However, if it involves doing something specifically they wouldn’t otherwise do, we may offer cash. This weekend my eldest is walking with my youngest to judo class, staying on for the hour and walking back. This will take her two hours of her time in which she can’t do much else and it’s normally my job or something I’d get a sitter in for. Now I have offered her €5 for it and she’s delighted. Obviously it’s less than the going rate for a sitter, but I’d feel I’d be spoiling her appreciation of money if I paid her too much for it (her being and entry-lever ‘worker’ and all) 😉

By: Jennifer T

Jennifer T — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 21:12:59 +0000

I love these comments! It’s crazy to see how much the thinking has changed in just a generation. My brother and I are nine years apart and after the newborn days, I was ten and my mom would run down to the grocery store while he napped! My uncle was the butcher there, so she had the meat departments number by the phone to call if I needed anything. We survived. I was I guess 11 when I started babysitting him just on my own, did carpool with him and classmates right when I turned 16 and got my license.
I babysat kids in my neighborhood and my cousins when I was about 12 and continued through high school.
I recently had a friend leave her 3 and 6 year old with a 13 year old for a couple of hours, I gave it the side eye at first but I was baby sitting at that age so what’s the difference?? I was uber responsible at that age and had a ton of experience with my brother and cousins. Going younger does open up a wider range of babysitters! I haven’t felt comfortable with someone who doesn’t drive if there is an emergency but to each their own.

By: Melanie Schuele

Melanie Schuele — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 14:37:02 +0000

Am loving reading these comments. I started babysitting between 10 and 12 years of age. First my sisters, who were newborn and 3. By 11 I am quite sure I was sitting for the neighbors, mostly during the day. AT 12, nighttime babysitting. at 11, I would babysit for 5 kids for 50 cents an hour — twins at 3, single at 5, twins at 7 (you can see why the mom needed to get out). It was across the street from our house. Interestingly, I really was only responsible for three kids, as the 7 year olds were on their own, as in they did not NEED a babysitter. Who knows where they were in the neighborhood while I was babysitting. The world was definitely a different place back then. But when I had my own child in 2005, I only left him with my graduate students as babysitters.

By: Jara C.

Jara C. — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:26:40 +0000

I’m the oldest of five kids, and my two youngest siblings are 7 and 10 years younger than me. I helped with both of them a lot (though I volunteered for most of it; I don’t think my parents ever asked me to help for more than a few minutes unless they compensated me for it or counted it as my chore of the day, which we earned an allowance for). I think I was 12 or 13 when I started staying home alone with the next to youngest sibling, and probably not much older than that when I stayed home alone with the youngest sibling, too. I was quite a home body at that age, so it was helpful for my mom if she could run errands without a bunch of kids under foot and it was nice for me because I got out of doing other cleaning that I didn’t want to do and got to spend extra time with my youngest siblings!

By: Marg

Marg — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 23:42:53 +0000

I babysat for 6 kids ( two families combined) when I was 12 years old.Tthe parents went to a big 10 football game and were gone forever. One child fell and bruised her elbow. Responsible babysitter that I was, ice was applied while telling her to maybe stop crying. Turns out she broke her elbow in 3 places! I felt terrible!
They did ask me to babysit again, but I never did again. I can’t imagine trusting A 12 year to be in charge for 8 hours!

By: Dominique

Dominique — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 17:12:50 +0000

My comment is mostly going to be what not to do for handling babysitting with your kids. My parents created a lot of resentment, both for them and my siblings. I am the oldest of six kids (15 year spread) and babysat my brothers and sisters alone from about 10 on and started babysitting other families around 13 years old. I would say that being mindful that the older kids should be compensated for their time and effort says a lot. I was never paid for babysitting siblings as my parents didn’t have a lot of financial means and they felt it was simply my duty to babysit them whenever my parents deemed it necessary. They would go so far as to have me cancel paying babysitting jobs for other families because they needed me to babysit. And once I had a waitressing job, I would have to change my schedule to accommodate their babysitting needs. When I pushed against this, I was punished (losing car privileges/ability to go out with friends). This led to me telling them when I went to college that I would not go to college anywhere near my hometown because I never wanted them to pop by and drop off their children for me to babysit. So I went to college 7 hours away, while all of my high school friends went to a great college in town.

I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me, and he never had to babysit. They “tried” to have him babysit, but he went to play at the neighbor’s house and so instead of him being reprimanded for that, they decided that I was the only one responsible enough to babysit. There were a couple of families who loved me babysitting for them so much that once I was waitressing and had gone to college, they had my brother babysit for their kids (and my younger sister later.)

I will add that once I came home from college for a weekend to babysit so my parents could go away for the weekend, but they ended up canceling last minute. We had arranged for them to pay me for the weekend – but since they canceled, they didn’t. And then I got reprimanded for being upset about the situation. Clearly you are not there yet, but if your kids are planning around babysitting for you, it goes a long way to treat them with respect like you would a hired babysitter.

By: Omdg

Omdg — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 15:44:39 +0000

In reply to Laura Vanderkam. I think I was the same age, but I’m also sure my parents didn’t know.

By: Byrd

Byrd — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 15:13:14 +0000

I had a 12 yo babysitter when I was a toddler, and likewise I started babysitting when I was 12. In both cases there were adults in the house, but not in the room. One of my best gigs was providing childcare during moms group meetings. 🙂

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 15:02:05 +0000

We don’t pay our teens to watch their younger sister, but we will let them off the hook for chores for a day or two if they do it. I was desperate a few weeks ago, and also gave my son extra video game time in exchange for watching his sister.

By: Sarah K

Sarah K — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 12:50:52 +0000

My kids are 14, 12 and 6. We can leave them home alone for a few hours. The 12- and 14-yr-old get paid to do this. If I just leave them for 15 minutes to go to the store there’s no payment. A lot of their “babysitting” is very low-key childcare. I think when we are gone they just watch a lot of TV.