Comments on: Best of Both Worlds podcast: When you want the world to stop for a week… https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/ Writer, Author, Speaker Tue, 31 Mar 2020 17:00:44 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 By: Shar https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-108226 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 16:23:03 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-108226 Knowing all your cards is really useful. Even just dividing your weekly/daily to-do list to focus on the immediate helps calm the chaos a little bit and helps zero in on what needs to be done versus everything you could do. Having long-term goals in the form of the Quarterly goals and then dumping everything else into a Someday/Maybe list that extends beyond just that quarter in the Laura adage of “Not now.”

]]> By: Kate https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-108091 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 16:53:07 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-108091 In reply to Gillian.

I’d also like to add to this…. you don’t have to breastfeed at all. GASP. HORRORS. I know. But… you can stop without any reason that has to do with inability. You can just NOT or just STOP. You owe not a soul an explanation. Your child will thrive because it has an involved, loving parent who takes care of themselves.
(Lots of the studies that portray breastfeeding as OMGBESTTHINGEVER can’t actually prove causation anyway. Lots of correlation mistaken as causation.)

And if there is judgement, it’s a great time to clean house in terms of friends and family who you really need in your life. Yes, I said family. That’s another thing – you don’t have to tolerate anything simply because someone shares a bloodline. That could be a whole other post though 🙂

]]> By: KGC https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-108050 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 13:15:27 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-108050 In reply to Gillian.

It is a choice, and I regularly say that to other people. I think sometimes we have a blind spot for ourselves, though, you know? Kind of like “well, it’s a choice for other people, but for ME…”
(which is ridiculous, but hard to not feel it sometimes)
With my first, I had to stop breastfeeding at 6 months to go on a very long course of antibiotics, so it was not my choice to stop and it was…horrible (so.many.hormones. so.much.guilt). This time around, I really wanted to have it go to a year and be on my own terms, and I think I’m reaching my limit. My supply has tanked and my freezer stash is almost done, so I’m going to have to supplement formula for the last month or so anyway – and this realization has suddenly made me fine with dropping my pre-run pump session and cutting down to just once at work.
I’ve really loved reading all of these comments and am grateful for the advice from those who have been (or are) there!

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-107927 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 20:43:13 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-107927 In reply to Gillian.

@Gillian – thanks! Yes, it’s good to make decisions about how we spend our time rationally, considering all the trade-offs. And avoiding misplaced guilt!

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-107922 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 20:32:59 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-107922 In reply to Dominique.

@Dominique – that would have been a fun one to explain!

]]> By: LMD https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-107913 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 19:49:20 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-107913 I also appreciated the reminder that it’s a choice, and particularly that it’s not “all or none.” There are many areas in life where I tend to get myself trapped in “all or none” thinking and it was a good reminder to try to remember they aren’t. I think exercising is another good example of this — it doesn’t have to be 4-5 days per week if that’s not feasible for the season of life. Two-three is better than zero.

]]> By: LMD https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-107911 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 19:48:00 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-107911 In reply to Gillian.

I also appreciated the reminder that it’s a choice, and particularly that it’s not “all or none.” There are many areas in life where I tend to get myself trapped in “all or none” thinking and it was a good reminder to try to remember they aren’t. I think exercising is another good example of this — it doesn’t have to be 4-5 days per week if that’s not feasible for the season of life. Two-three is better than zero.

]]> By: Gillian https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-107893 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 18:03:54 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-107893 I just wanted to (probably unpopularly) second Laura’s comment that pumping is a choice not a requirement. It sounds like from comments above the emailer is wrapping up her pumping anyway. However, so often I talk to moms or hear about moms that talk about pumping as though it is required. It is a choice like so many others we make and I think sometimes mothers need permission to stop if pumping is no longer working for them and their family. While, I fully support women who choose to pump/nurse and think workplaces should do the same, I also think it is critical to examine when it is something that works for us and when it isn’t without all the guilt and baggage that comes with the topic.

]]> By: Gisela https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-107860 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 14:33:22 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-107860 I can certainly relate to wanting the world to stop for a week so I can catch up. One thing I started doing that really helps is to try to schedule one “at-home” weekend a month. For my family, that means that other than going to church and checking in on my 94-year-old father-in-law, we don’t leave the house. We’ll plan fun activities like a family movie or a board game (or both), but the rest of the weekend is spent just getting things done. I never get completely caught up, but I make enough of a dent in the backlog of chores that I can make bigger, better plans for the rest of the weekends without the chaos taking over.

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/02/best-of-both-worlds-podcast-when-you-want-the-world-to-stop-for-a-week/#comment-107857 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 14:07:17 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17534#comment-107857 In reply to Alyce.

@Alyce- thanks for the comment and for these great ideas! You’ve figured out a lot in six months — this is impressive. And yes, sometimes prioritizing sleep is really the key. And asking for help too.

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