Comments on: Til Faith Do Us Part

By: Nicole E. Kirby

Nicole E. Kirby — Thu, 06 Jun 2013 09:41:46 +0000

This seems on the surface to be a counterintuitive argument—if Mormons are kind and accepting of interfaith marriages and the people in them, as Riley claims from her interviews and research (and as our family has experienced firsthand, with only a few exceptions in two decades), wouldn’t the opposite be true? Wouldn’t there be more interfaith, part-Mormon marriages? Riley says that in Mormonism, there is no stigma attached to being in a part-member marriage. For example, there is no shaming of interfaith children (like one story in the book of an evangelical Sunday School teacher who told one of her students that Mommy was going to hell because she didn’t come to church–!). But instead of creating more interfaith marriages, this persistent, long-term welcome mat actually cuts down on such marriages because . . .

By: Cara Marcano

Cara Marcano — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 02:08:53 +0000

In reply to hush. It is a bit odd long term in america to make religion about race -- this is kind of her point.. does this bode well for jews and others who do this ..

By: Cara Marcano

Cara Marcano — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 02:07:45 +0000

In reply to Laura. this issue of women being more religious is interesting...

By: Cara Marcano

Cara Marcano — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 02:05:44 +0000

I just finished this book today.
I did really like it and was surprised as someone who is in both an inter-ethnic marriage that also crosses religious lines — that interracial marriages are so UNcommon in America today. Another really good point in there is that in a dual faith family the children are more than 2x more likely to follow or practice the religion of the MOTHER so I do think this says a lot about parenting today in America still. My kids get both religions and both cultures but I am more likely to insist on sunday school and my husband more likely to let them stay home when he goes to church. I was also really surprised with how rare marriages between two folks of different political parties are. They are actually really, really rare & and I did not know that !
I also was surprised by some of the views of Muslims for example that a woman doesn’t have to be a muslim to be sanctioned wife of a muslim man but that is not the case for man marrying woman etc.
The view of what Mormons do right for their own in their 20s is also interesting vs. secular, more liberal jews etc. and this issue of race/identity vs. religion in an increasingly diverse America that considers itself multicultural if not mixed. I enjoyed it and would enjoy reading more about these topics !

By: Laura

Laura — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 01:47:35 +0000

In reply to hush.

@hush – it does make things easier to subscribe to similar beliefs. What makes it hard is — as she describes — people’s views change over the course of their lives. People can both not care much about religion, but then one party decides it does matter.

By: Laura

Laura — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 01:46:17 +0000

In reply to Sarah.

@Sarah – yes, in her book she shows the degree to which people become more religious later in life. There are some heartbreaking stories of people who thought they wouldn’t care…and then did. But once you’ve made a decision as a couple, is it something you can reopen? In general, women turn out to be more religious than men. Children in an interfaith marriage are much more likely to be raised in the faith of the mother, because she tends to be the one who makes it happen.

By: Lucia Nolan

Lucia Nolan — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 12:10:05 +0000

There is a distinction between inter-denominational and interfaith marriages and some Christian sects may extend their own rules and practices to include other denominations as well.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 08:10:14 +0000

Sounds like a fascinating book! I am in the situation that we share the same faith, but my husband is uninterested in attending church. At least he does not mind that i take the children there though. I also became more active religiously after having children, as the author describes.

By: hush

hush — Fri, 31 May 2013 18:15:25 +0000

Interesting that Schaefer Riley focuses on Jews as a religious group, but not as a racial/ethnic group. I think that’s a big reason interfaith marriage is frowned upon by elders in the Jewish community – there’s the sense that only the children of Jewish mothers are Jews. There’s the fear that too much intermarriage will be the end of the Jews. I can’t think of another religious group where being born into it vs. converting is as salient.

I guess I should count my blessings I am married to someone who shares my exact views on religion. We have it easier than others I suppose.