Comments on: One-on-one time

By: Jen Owens

Jen Owens — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 07:36:14 +0000

I’m a single parent, and the rare 1:1 time I get with each of my two boys is magical. It helps me remember what incredible little people they are, when they’re not trying to kill each other or asking me for something at the same exact time. How nice that you got some time with each of four that day!

By: Jennie

Jennie — Sat, 25 Mar 2017 23:24:57 +0000

My daughter, 11, and I are currently taking Bob Ross paint classes once a month. She’s the only girl and the middle child. Sometimes she gets the short end because she’s not as aggressive about getting her time as her brothers are. My oldest,14, and I like to see movies together. I’m struggling with my youngest, 9, although he probably gets more this his share due to his “lap puppy” nature. It gets easier and less like a chore as they get older. I genuinely enjoy our one on one activities now.

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 12:27:57 +0000

In reply to Carrie @ And Then There Were 7. @Carrie- thanks! I'm sure you've really got a crash course going on with going to a big brood so quickly. At least I had some time to practice as I went up from 1 to 4. Sounds like you're figuring out a lot :)

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 12:25:48 +0000

In reply to Brooke Kent. @Brooke - thanks for sharing that article. Yep, that's pretty much what happens at the conferences!

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 12:23:42 +0000

In reply to Jane.

@Jane- somewhat! It worked that night. Then this past night he woke up at 4:30, went back to sleep for a bit, but was up for good by 5:30. Sigh.
As for the one-on-one time when solo parenting, I’d say 90% of my one-on-one time comes because I have a sitter. I know that’s not feasible for everyone, but when some people out in the world disparage childcare, I look at my own experience and know that it allows me quality time with my kids. It’s not even about oh, I need time to myself so I can be a better parent. It’s about actually spending time with my kids!
But even without that, there can be options. Maybe two kids have playdates with friends and you get time with one of them. Or after the littler ones go to bed you spend time with the older one. Or you trade off with a neighbor. Or two of the kids play video games and you get some at-home solo time with the other. That sort of thing.

By: Natalie Williams

Natalie Williams — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 10:32:23 +0000

I am giggling about the photo caption. Sounds like a couple of kids at my house. Except we usually go out for Mexican, and they eat plain flour tortillas…

By: Jane

Jane — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 03:14:50 +0000

Did the bedtime affirmations work? I would love one on one time with my 3. As a solo parent with no family nearby it rarely happens. I’ve learnt to enjoy the group dynamics more.

By: Brooke Kent

Brooke Kent — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 01:08:36 +0000

I love the “bedtime propaganda.” I use similar affirmations for hair-brushing with our 5-year-old. 😉

In another vein, I thought you’d appreciate this WSJ article if you hadn’t seen it. It elaborates on many of the conference techniques I’ve seen you mention before:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-power-of-conferences-in-a-social-media-age-1489372006

By: Carrie @ And Then There Were 7

Carrie @ And Then There Were 7 — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 00:53:25 +0000

As a new mom (about 6 months in now) to 5 (yes, 5), I can attest to the fact that having that 1-on-1 time is so important. And also hard to get! Everyone needs something, but taking those moments to talk, to find out what happened at school, to check in on what’s bothering them, or to splurge by stopping at the ice cream truck… I know it makes each one feel special, and I find myself saying, “Hey, this kid isn’t so bad!”… at least until we get home and she (or he) starts pounding on a sibling. 😉 Love this post, Laura.

By: ARC

ARC — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 19:23:56 +0000

In reply to Amy. I only have two girls, 4 & 7, so take this for what it's worth. We try to time our 1:1 dates so hubby plans *something* fun with the other one while I've got one. It doesn't have to be a big evening out, but just something intentional, even if it's a trip to Home Depot to pick up the floater for the toilet. (Apparently my 4yo thought that was amazing!). Or we plan 1:1 dates when one girl is at a birthday party the other wasn't invited to, and this eases the birthday party sadness.