Aurora

The air turns cool, the dark descending fast
on this October evening, Thursday night.
I huddle in my coat, this is the last
of several happy outings, all is bright

beneath the street lamps, feel the bustle, buzz.
Two hundred people line up for a show.
They’ve stood all day, and now crowd, as one does,
to be the first inside, first standing row.

We hustle past — then “look up!” In the chill,
a streak of red makes brush strokes in the sky,
and through the camera lens more colors still.
We shout and join the faces pointed high.

The northern lights have come to play around
this autumn night, like music without sound…

—-
Bar Harbor, 4:45 p.m.

Now rocking on the porch, I see the light
turn golden, all the maple leaves aglow
on this cold island, all the aspens bright,
as even parking lots put on a show.

Some nineteen years ago we ran a race
to mark one year. A thought — did that seem long?
I only once had thought about this place.
Somewhere a book is written, we belong

to larger narratives, the great unknown.
We travel many years, if glad we can.
Tomorrow, I must wake before the dawn
with many miles waiting, per the plan.

Just always moving, here this tree still stands
a hundred autumns, chilling many hands.

We flew to Bangor, Maine on Friday afternoon, rented a car and drove to Bar Harbor. We stayed at the same Yellow House Inn that kid #2 and I stayed at during our Acadia trip in June 2023 (different room though). It’s a very cute historic home and centrally located, and it has good snacks and an espresso machine guests can access 24 hours a day, so hey!

After dropping off our stuff, we got our race bibs at the local YMCA, and got dinner at a tapas place on the main street. We ate outside, which was fine at the beginning with nearby heat lamps…but was a little chilly by the end! We both crashed quite early — I guess having no kids around provides an opportunity to get caught up on sleep.

On Saturday we were a bit more ambitious. After eating breakfast at the hotel we drove over to Acadia National Park, got our pass, then parked by Sand Beach.

While a lot of Maine is past peak now, Acadia is out on the ocean and a bit more temperate, so there was a ton of fall color. And a ton of leap peepers! The place was pretty much packed. But as with a lot of national parks, once you get slightly off the main drag, it’s less crowded. We walked down along the ocean trail, then did the Gorham Mountain trail — a family favorite. We have pictures of us doing this with our two very little boys (and me 7.5 months pregnant with kid #3) in 2011. I’m not sure if hiking up steep stony paths is a recommended day-before-a-half-marathon activity, but oh well. It was pretty. We took the Bowl Trail down and looked up at the lines of people waiting to go on the Beehive climb. You have to climb up ladders on that one so on a busy day it gets to be backed-up, so that was a big no thank you from us.

I hadn’t planned on getting a Cadillac Mountain summit reservation (I hadn’t planned much of anything…) but when we got to the park, we decided to see if any were available, and lo and behold, a few still were for the middle of the day. So after our hike we drove over to the entrance and drove up. Many pretty views from up there too. We then wound up eating at lobster pounds for a late lunch and a not-so-late dinner. The latter one – C-Ray lobster – was kind of fun for being very authentic. Just a kitchen on the side of the road with a heated tent covering picnic tables. We drove up and wondered if this was the place but within a few minutes there was a line — it had one of the highest ratings on the island and my lobster roll was indeed good. And we saw a big orange moon on the horizon on the way back!

The next morning was the race. I must admit, I had a reasonable amount of anxiety over this whole thing — both the running and the logistics. Longtime readers know that I had a back issue in January that left me unable to walk for a week and I didn’t run for about 2 months. I’ve been slowly coming back but it’s a process. I worried about being cold at the start and the end. Then there was the getting around. We needed to make a flight at 3:50 p.m. out of Bangor, which is about an hour and 15 minutes from Bar Harbor. The race was a one-direction one, with the half-marathon starting in Northeast Harbor (the marathon began in Bar Harbor) and going to Southwest Harbor. The buses ran to the half marathon start from the Village Green in Bar Harbor from 6:15-7:15 a.m., with a starting time of 8:30 a.m.. Then we’d run to the finish line festival where buses started running at 12 p.m., but on a vague-ish schedule (“when they fill.”). So we really needed to be on one of the first buses to get back to Bar Harbor, and get our car, to leave the island no later than about 1:30 to be at the airport an hour before the flight.

Fortunately they had a warm place for us all to wait the hour at the half marathon start, so that was nice. The race itself was…long. I ran the whole thing but not with a ton of pep. It was a lot hillier than I’d really planned on (the route went by the coast but there are a lot of rolling hills). There were some beautiful views, especially during the first few miles along the water. But then to make the route work we wound up running a lot of the route on a fairly busy road that was open to local traffic, with only occasional views of the water. Too bad. I think the marathon route got some more views as they went through Acadia (the marathon route met up with the half-marathon route right at the 13.1 mile mark and since they started 30 minutes before us, the winners passed us a few miles in). I survived and finished, so yay for that.

We got our snacks and finishers’ medals but didn’t linger long at the finish because of the bus issue. But by hanging out at the bus stop from 11:40 a.m. or so we did indeed make the first bus. We got back to Bar Harbor and our car at approximately 12:50, so ahead of schedule. Which turned out to be a good thing as the TSA line at Bangor was nuts. In a small airport, Pre-check doesn’t always help much. But we made our flight, and made it to Philly, in time to deal with the evening, get everyone to bed and plunge back into Monday.

Anyway, I’m a bit stiff this morning, though my back is functional, which is good. I’m not thrilled with my time but I am happy I crossed the finish line. I don’t plan on running another half marathon any time soon though. Probably some 5-10ks might be more my style for a while… And hey, the leaves were pretty!

Of course, in years of being cold, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. One of my favorite is to wash my face (and hands) with hot water. At one point I identified that the reason I never wanted to wash my face at night in the winter is that I didn’t like splashing cold water on my face. But the sink gets hot water too! Same with washing my hands. No need to just tap the cold faucet (the default) if the hot one is available.

It was 38 degrees outside this morning. Sadly, this means I probably won’t be able to wear my summer flats and jeans much longer. My daughter and I were discussing this when I drove her to the bus stop the other morning. She had been eager for fall weather, but she clarified that she liked just a little coolness, not being cold. But I guess it was inevitable!

I’m not sure if I’ll get to a content round-up post later this week or not, so a few highlights: Over at Before Breakfast, I interviewed Cal Newport! I’ve been running a longer episode every Wednesday where I interview someone about their time management strategies. He really embraces October and has quite the display going on his lawn…Please give that episode a listen.

Over at Vanderhacks, the post behind the paywall this week is about “Planning fatigue is real” — but here are 7 ways to take a beat and get back on track. I also reminded people that “If others can, you can.” Other, normal people tend not to have access to some secret font of knowledge that isn’t accessible to everyone else. You can probably figure it out!

(Time for the annual question…are you Team Pumpkin or no? I like pumpkin bread and pumpkin muffins, but have not embraced the PSL lifestyle or, for that matter, pumpkin beer.)

We discuss our favorite fall products and such, and then pivot to the topic of energy. A listener wrote in that she thought we (as in me + SHU) seemed very energetic and wondered why she didn’t feel so energetic. First, we needed to stress that we tend to pep ourselves up for recording, but then also empathize that this listener’s situation (often solo parenting a toddler) is tough. We share some ideas for managing energy and finding life more doable.

Please give the episode a listen! We welcome ratings and reviews. Please also consider joining the BOBW Patreon community. Next week (on 10/22) we’ll be meeting up by Zoom to discuss all things meal-planning. I know I’m looking forward to getting some new ideas. Membership is $9/month.

So it goes. This tree’s glowing red and the magnolia in the front yard’s showy pink spring blossoms last for just a week or so each year. Whatever else is going on, I know I need to stop and notice them. Savor them for a few days in April and November. This year this savoring has had more poignancy to it as we will be living in our new house for the spring blossoms. There are going to be beautiful ones there. I walked a row of late blooming cherry trees, for instance, and once we start taking care of the place it will blossom. I know there are fiery trees there for autumn, too. But we come to know “our” trees and their rhythms and this year I am saying goodbye to these.

Anyway, it has been a long week, with much interrupted sleep. The toddler has been clingy and unhappy (the interrupted sleep isn’t good for him either, even if he’s causing the problem!). But the kids’ activities are winding down, so this weekend should, theoretically, be more relaxed. I sorted through some kid clothes and found size 12 jeans for the 12-year-old. I also found a pair of *my* jeans tucked in that same pile, which I guess had been missing for a while. Since it’s raining today, the workmen aren’t working on my neighbor’s roof, so I can get ahead on recording. I will take these little wins!

My little brother got married on Zoom last December (he and his wife were in the same place, obviously, but the rest of us were dialing in!). They decided to have their full celebration this past weekend at their house in Wallkill, NY, which is not too far from New Paltz.

We drove up Friday night through what would have been lovely scenery had it not been dark (note to self: No point taking the scenic route when it will be dark 75 percent of the trip…). It was also challenging to get the toddler down in a new place and I wound up rocking him for about an hour, until 10:30 p.m., which meant that his 5:30 wake-up just felt cruel.

However! Our AirBnB rental was absolutely lovely.  The Inn at the Ridge operates as either a bed and breakfast or you can rent the full four-bedroom guest suite, which is what I did for my crew. Located only 5 minutes from my brother’s house, this 1796 farmhouse was absolutely adorable, with a cozy common area and an inviting porch. Plus chickens! They provided lots of early morning entertainment for the toddler…and eggs for breakfast both days. The owners also run a little farm stand lunch counter where we ate on Saturday. (Check out my photos from the weekend over on Instagram, @lvanderkam).

Saturday morning we got up on time to go to the Minnewaska State Park Preserve. My sister-in-law recommended it but warned us that it filled up on popular weekends. Which, given the peak fall leaves, this past weekend was. So we got to the gates right at 9 when they opened, parked in the Lake Minnewaska lot and watched it fill up and close behind us. This 2-mile loop around the lake is really a gorgeous and easy hike (read, good for our crew). As often happens, the visitors center and start of the hike was crowded, but even if there are spaces for a few hundred cars, that many people spread over 2 miles means we still had stretches of solitude. The red and yellow leaves made the dark pines stand out even more against the gray sky and gray rocks.

My brother’s wedding was lovely, with their view of the mountains as the backdrop. Of course, since the toddler was there, it wasn’t the world’s most relaxing wedding. My husband and I took turns running after him though I will admit my husband spent far more time doing that so I could watch the ceremony and toasts and talk to my family. They had a pizza truck for reception food, and served pie and ice cream instead of cake, which the kids appreciated. The toddler took to the dance floor for quite a while and showed off some serious moves.

On Sunday my parents hosted a cider-and-donuts get-together at a nearby apple orchard. We went early to pick apples, so now we have another bushel of Golden Delicious, Fiji, Winesap, and Empire apples. I enjoyed my cider while looking out over the fields of apples as my husband was entertaining the toddler. I am sure this was not a terribly enjoyable way to spend a party but he was in a very, very good mood given the results of the Texas A&M/Alabama game the night before (and yes, our 1796 farmhouse had cable so he had stayed up to watch it even as I crashed at 9:30). Fortunately the rain held off until we were in the car and driving home, where we arrived just in time to get the 14-year-old to tennis, prep for the week…and rewatch A&M/Alabama highlights.

There were, of course, some not fun moments. My four older children’s ability to fight over their positioning in the four van seats available to them knows no bounds. But I could see trying to make at least one weekend fall trip each year. It’s a nice way to enjoy the season and make fall memories.

I have been waking up between 6-6:30 a.m. Theoretically I could set my alarm for, say, 6, and get 10-15 minutes before the kids wake up. But I’m not a naturally early riser and so I’m trying to get as much sleep as I can. Anyway, I have been sleeping in the guest room so I don’t hear the toddler start to babble at 5:30. My husband either ignores him or gets him — I am not really sure which — but has so far not been handing him to me before 6 a.m., so I don’t ask questions.

The morning frenzy really starts at 6:30 when the 14-year-old is woken up. I generally make him breakfast because otherwise he will just eat a piece of bread. Not even toasted. I am doing this while juggling the toddler who, if he hasn’t been fed yet, is yelling “Mommy milk!” (It’s great when they start using their words, right?) Inevitably the dog is downstairs barking in his crate. My husband is either showering or (if he was up at 5:45) sleeping. I might pour a cup of coffee but the toddler has a tendency to wave his arms and legs around while nursing, so this is a dicey proposition. Sometimes we read a story but again, it is an active process.

The 12-year-old needs to be up at 6:50 in order to have a shot of getting ready for the bus. At this point my husband is bringing the dog outside, and then brings him back in, so he’s in the kitchen with the rest of us (sometimes he goes on the porch then, but then he might bark and I’m trying not to be terrible as a neighbor). 7 a.m is peak crazy, as my husband and the 14-year-old are headed out the door for the high school run, I’m getting the 12-year-old breakfast, the dog is barking, the baby is running around, and inevitably the 6-year-old hears the commotion and comes downstairs with his own needs (somehow the 10-year-old sleeps through all this…I have to wake her at 7:45). One of those needs is to be supervised packing his lunch, since he decided after a few weeks of school lunches that he wasn’t going to eat them anymore (to be fair, the last week wasn’t a great week — the district is having supply chain issues, and he’s “selective” — picky — enough that if what he thought was there wasn’t, he just doesn’t eat. The other kids will eat whatever is on offer).

Yes, at the moment, 7:00 a.m. is not my favorite time of day. It does get better. The 12-year-old gets on the bus at 7:25 and if my husband is working from home, he comes home around then from the high school run and I go shower. Our nanny comes to work at 8, the elementary kids are on the bus at 8:30, and the dog often goes into his crate for a morning nap around then, so things settle down considerably. If 7 a.m. is terrible, 8:45 a.m. can be quite lovely. So while it might be nice to trouble shoot the morning rush, and while I’m sure there are things that can be done better, I’m trying to remember that a weekday morning consists of both 7 a.m. and 8:45 a.m., and one is not necessarily more representative than the other.

However, I would like to drink my coffee before 8:45 a.m. So that “uninterrupted cup” is a work in progress…

In other news: This should be a great fall weekend — we’re doing some leaf peeping, seeing a lot of family, hiking, and having cider and donuts. I have been learning the names of fall wildflowers, as I mentioned in my fall fun list. There’s a lot of white snakeroot everywhere (those are the little white flowers), goldenrod (self-explanatory), and asters in various forms.

I may abandon my first fall-themed puzzle, as there are approximately 150 pieces of blue sky to go…and I am just not feeling it.

I had an idea for a novel featuring a character who always does the blue sky in 1000 piece puzzles first….