Comments on: Picture yourself on the other side https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/ Writer, Author, Speaker Fri, 26 Feb 2021 16:11:41 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 By: Gayle M https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194648 Wed, 24 Feb 2021 01:20:02 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194648 A great article Laura. The concept of the three selves is profound. I will be utilising the anticipating self principle to help get progress a current project. May thanks for your insights.

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194568 Tue, 23 Feb 2021 15:44:29 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194568 In reply to Megan.

@Megan – yep, I think that last part is key. Staying home is going to be painful too chasing a toddler, refereeing fights and such. Going somewhere fills the time, and sometimes we do need that.

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194566 Tue, 23 Feb 2021 15:38:23 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194566 In reply to Katherine.

@Katherine – thanks – I think that Covid has many of us out of practice of leaving the house for stuff, which makes any given event feel more momentous. Hopefully that won’t last forever either!

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194565 Tue, 23 Feb 2021 15:37:27 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194565 In reply to Sarah K.

@Sarah K – yep, good or bad it will be over. Nothing lasts forever — which has its upsides and downsides!

]]> By: Laura Vanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194563 Tue, 23 Feb 2021 15:35:30 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194563 In reply to Calee.

@Calee- woo hoo! Glad you made it through!

]]> By: Calee https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194546 Tue, 23 Feb 2021 14:22:48 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194546 I used this last week when Houston was frozen. It was 14 degrees (and the power was out) but we knew that the forecast was 70 for Sunday. We just had to get through the week. And we did!

]]> By: Anne https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194459 Tue, 23 Feb 2021 05:27:29 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194459 Love this – I have started in a new position which has moved me away from my work comfort zone. I am using this strategy to deal with my feelings of anxiety around whether I can do the role, by reminding myself that in a few months I won’t feel like that anymore. Thanks for the tip.

]]> By: Alexicographer https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194432 Tue, 23 Feb 2021 01:06:34 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194432 Good point. I have just 1 kid which undoubtedly makes things easier for the experiencing self, but I am totally about getting the kid (and thus, often, me though he is now old enough to be kicked out solo) out of the house. So for me that’s a great motivator, not a challenge. Ditto the dogs, both of whom benefit from and one of whom is a lot easier to live with if she’s had a long run. Today. Conveniently a “long run” (from the dog’s perspective, doesn’t necessarily involve me running) or walk is something I enjoy. But as much of what I enjoy involves being outside (plus I’m sure my perception is skewed as the pandemic has ended a lot of indoor activities, for now), bad weather days and dark days are demotivators to doing other stuff I would enjoy having done, even though I might not enjoy them as much in the experiencing moment (organizing old photos springs to mind as something that isn’t literally housecleaning but still sort of ends up getting pushed aside).

That said, I did give up C25K when I realized I was having the opposite problem with it — I spent way, way, way more time thinking uphappily about next time I had to run, than actually running. So I quit. (Funnily enough I landed on Dr. Mama’s Listen Up, Maggots! approach to running which — although the end result/recommendation is almost exactly the same thing, run 30 minutes every other day — worked much better for me. So I have ended up being a runner, or at least a jogger, despite that.)

]]> By: Sarah K https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194383 Mon, 22 Feb 2021 19:44:15 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194383 I used to use this technique when I was in medical school because I had really bad nerves before exams. So I would say to myself “No matter what, it’s over at this time tomorrow and you can relax with a movie (or whatever)”. It was a useful mental trick. I like the idea of using it for certain activities that require effort too.

]]> By: Katherine https://lauravanderkam.com/2021/02/picture-yourself-on-the-other-side/#comment-194372 Mon, 22 Feb 2021 18:56:50 +0000 https://lauravanderkam.com/?p=17934#comment-194372 This is definitely a strategy I am going to employ in the future. There are many times recently that events, two just this past weekend, have made me somewhat anxious. I mentally stew about all the logistics needed to successfully pull off attending an event and imagine either not having a great time or the things that could go wrong. Most of the time, well…almost all of the time, everything works out, and I feel silly about my feelings prior to the event. I haven’t always felt this way. It seems like I feel this way more since the COVID pandemic and going out is more limited. Thanks for the wonderful suggestion, Laura.

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