Comments on: Guest post: The perfect parent hoax https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/ Writer, Author, Speaker Tue, 17 Apr 2018 13:58:46 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 By: Camille https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35266 Mon, 21 Aug 2017 21:17:39 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35266 In reply to Phoebe Farag Mikhail.

YES!!! Power to the conversation…. I am also struck hat this is a way to teach them about the realities of life: you will have to make choices. Rarely will it be easy!

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By: Camille https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35265 Mon, 21 Aug 2017 21:15:56 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35265 In reply to Gillian.

I love this idea of watching the replay together… AND your “being the first” to see that replay!

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By: Marthe https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35264 Tue, 15 Aug 2017 09:58:00 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35264 In reply to ARC.

Same here, we have three sons and a fourth on the way, I’m not ever going to practice sessions of all their hobbies of all four of them later on (eldest is 4 years old). Here in the Netherlands that is most common fortunately and kids generally don’t do many hobbies outside 35 hours per week of preschool (from 3-4 years) here until they are 5 or 6.

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By: ARC https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35263 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 04:34:18 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35263 In reply to Alexicographer.

This is so great! I was also wondering why a parent would *need* to attend a T-ball practice? Games, I understand, but practice? Unless that speaker was actually one of the coaches – that would make more sense.

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By: ARC https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35262 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 04:33:16 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35262 In reply to Jennie.

Whoa, people make snarky comments about the working parents even though you’re actually participating? Is it a public school? That is ridiculous. I would absolutely speak up (to the principal or staff or PTA president if they’re not one of the annoying ones) about it. I have asked my husband to attend the PTA meetings at the kids’ new school because I’m getting a strong vibe that it’s always the moms doing the work, and I kind of want to take a stand against that 🙂

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By: Maureen https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35261 Sat, 12 Aug 2017 13:02:58 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35261 I want my kids to know that it’s not possible to do everything and that they will need to make choices. It’s called prioritization. Sometimes it will be tough, but in the end every person has to figure out what will make him- or herself happiest. I’m the mom who has never attended the parent visitation on the last day of the week-long summer day camp (so that I can work) but who does hang out with the kids during the two-week family summer vacation.

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By: Naomi https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35260 Sat, 12 Aug 2017 12:54:38 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35260 I love this. In fact this year I did do the unforgivable and missed a birthday with a early start and late finish that could not be avoided. But as my boy was turning four and really did not know when his birthday was we just made it the day later.

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By: Gillian https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35259 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 12:19:43 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35259 In reply to Harmony@CreatingMyKaleidoscope.

I agree with this. I recently missed the camp show (10 am on a Wednesday). I am a physician and I cannot cancel patients for every performance, but someone attends and I always tell my kids I can’t be there but dad or baby sitter will video it and I cannot wait to watch the video with them and hear all about it. I try to pick and choose a few big events for each of them and plan in advance to schedule the time off to attend. The kids always know which events I will and will not attend and how excited I am to discussed the event later.

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By: Alexicographer https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35258 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 03:59:22 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35258 Above and beyond the points others mention, I remain mystified that we have (it seems) embraced the idea that one needs an audience (here of parents for their kids, but really — whatever). If I do nothing else for my kid, I want to teach him always to wear a seatbelt. But beyond that, I’d like him to believe that things are worth doing and worth doing well whether or not anyone is watching, and that this goes every bit as much for soccer games (e.g.) as for acts of kindness/responsibility. So — yes, I get to many games and am glad I can. But I also miss some (and plan to miss more as he gets older) and consider that part of good parenting.

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By: Jennie https://lauravanderkam.com/2017/08/guest-post-perfect-parent-hoax/#comment-35257 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 02:52:20 +0000 http://lauravanderkam.staging.wpengine.com/?p=6812#comment-35257 I have 3 children. I can’t possibly be at that many places at once. Events get missed and everyone is ok with it. What I cannot stand is the mom guilt about school committees. I’m the PTA mom who donates money or items. I usually cannot arrange to take off work to work these events or have time (or inclination) to bake 10 dozen homemade treats for a bake sale. The comments about lack of participation and “the check writing moms” has just about got me thinking maybe I won’t be sending a check this year.
I wish we could officially quit the guilt.

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