@ARC- some fields definitely penalize more or less than others. In general, if you have highly in demand skills, getting back in will be easier than if you don’t. There are many ways to live, and certainly full time work isn’t for everyone. But the possibility of needing to provide for yourself and dependents should always be in the back of your mind, as you said.

This is a great point, esp if you have 2 working partners in a couple that eventually intends to have kids, or travel full-time or whatnot. At my very first job, I worked with a guy who was maybe 27 who had already decided that he and his wife would retire at 40 and every decision he made was towards this. I think they eventually planned to have kids (I didn’t stay in touch) but they also wanted to live and travel all over the world. So while we were eating our $40 steak dinners with our per diem as consultants, he was eating PB&J and saving that per diem every single day. I totally didn’t get it then, but now I do 😉

She was in a good job and moved with her husband and kids to another city to plant a church.

She couldn’t get a transfer from her company (the head office is in this city) so gave up her job and (this was a mistake and if I’d known at the time, I would have cautioned her otherwise) took out her pension (what you guys call a 401K, I think?). Things went well for a while but long story short, two years ago they went through a horrible divorce and she had to go out and get a job.

The 7 years in ministry are seen as nothing because her field is actually banking, and she had to take a very low position just to try make ends meet.

It’s very, very sad to see her basically starting all over again in a city with much less earning potential (her kids are in school there so she’s reluctant to move back).

@Ana- a very good lesson to teach girls. And I think it has to be actively taught, given all the other Prince Charming stuff they encounter in the rest of the cultural narrative.

@Allison – I don’t think savings and earning potential are at odds. Preferably, one has both! The one thing to keep in mind is that in a divorce, savings would likely be split, so one would only have half as much. And ideally, neither party would be using the bank accounts without consulting the other person as the marriage was falling apart, but…if the marriage was falling apart, that’s not a given.

@Jennie- a good reminder that no one’s health is assured. And while life insurance and disability insurance can certainly play a role in being prepared for things to go wrong, it’s good to have a lot of options at one’s disposal. I’m so glad your friend was able to go back to work and make it work.

@Caitlin – yep, there are all kinds of ways to work. I agree that if someone’s partner has a great high paying job with health insurance and other such benefits, then no, one doesn’t need to work 40 hours a week (if he/she wants to, great! But certainly one doesn’t have to). But there is a vast space between full time, and basically retired. It’s wise to stay in there somewhere.