Comments on: Dear Mrs. Patton: From one ‘Princeton Mom’ to another https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/ Writer, Author, Speaker Sat, 05 Apr 2014 16:27:52 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 By: Nicoleandmaggie https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26938 Sat, 05 Apr 2014 16:27:52 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26938 In reply to Susan.

And they are the only ones worth marrying.

Man, this is all so sad.

]]> By: Susan https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26937 Sat, 05 Apr 2014 14:21:51 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26937 I love this post! Yes–If men prefer to marry women who are younger, like Mrs. Patton says, then why is she telling Princeton women to look for men on campus who are the same age? And the statement in her letter about men’s preference for intellectually inferior women is too broad. There are men who appreciate a woman with brains!

]]> By: Maxine Brink https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26936 Sat, 05 Apr 2014 02:07:37 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26936 In reply to Liz.

…the shows trot out dewy-eyed interns…?

]]> By: Laura https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26935 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 14:47:33 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26935 In reply to Louisa.

@Louisa – it has to be aimed at the right person/concept. I don’t like being mean!

]]> By: Laura https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26934 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 14:45:01 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26934 In reply to Cara Marcano.

All right, let’s keep everything calm here.

]]> By: Cara Marcano https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26933 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 13:46:56 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26933 In reply to Louisa.

Wow. just wow. lots of MARRIED WOMEN AND MEN who don’t want kids DON’t use birth control. Lots of MARRIED men ask their wives to abort babies conceived b/c said men don’t use birth control. This has not happened to me but it has happened to LOTS of my friends.
Don’t romanticize your own upper middle classness and your marriedness that you forget where you are. You live here in America in 2014 and if you are girl in this world it has a lot of dark sides this today show land a man crxp does not touch.

get off your I’ve-got-a-man-soap box so scXXw that bxxx without one and get a clue. this idea that you have what you have and the single mother got hers is outrageous. I can’t believe you’d actually feel this that you’d articulate it. or the idea that marriage is so perfect that you can be out there judging the single parent.

]]> By: Louisa https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26932 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 10:31:16 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26932 In reply to Ana.

I agree, your mocking style is something new and fun, worth developing as a writer!

]]> By: Louisa https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26931 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 10:27:05 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26931 In reply to Cara Marcano.

I agree, child care is a travesty in this country, but a lot of the single mothers in this country are women who a) wanted it or b) didn’t use birth control, or c) wouldn’t have an abortion (another travesty), so the sympathy card you’re trying to play is completely untenable.

]]> By: AF https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26930 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 16:37:04 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26930 Make me gag. There is so much more to life and it rarely goes as planned. Quit worrying about your age and enjoy!!!!

]]> By: Rinna https://lauravanderkam.com/2014/04/dear-mrs-patton-princeton-mom/#comment-26929 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 15:43:14 +0000 http://localhost:8888/?p=4504#comment-26929 Laura – I really like your tongue in cheek response. To be fair to Mrs. Patton, she not only graduated from Princeton but sent her sons there, so maybe she’s a bit more of a Princeton mom than you 😉

I thought her letter was grating and condescending and I doubt many people took her seriously. Frankly, I’m surprised as to how easy it seems to get a book deal for some people!

With all that being said, I do think there are some messages I wish I could impart to young women in college right now. I wouldn’t focus on hunting for a husband, but I would tell them that having meaningful, respectful and serious relationships in college, even if it doesn’t lead anywhere close to marriage, is of benefit to them. I know it makes me sound hopelessly middle-aged (is 38 middle age these days?), but I don’t understand why women think they can have meaningless sex with no strings attached all through college and their 20s and then expect to get married and have kids when they turn 30! Finding out what you want in a relationship and the kind of man who is worth marrying takes time. Plus, it’s good to get used to having people in your life treating you with respect – you will need it in life. Not sure how a booty call at 2 am (even if it’s totally consensual and fun, to boot) teaches a young woman that she has any sort of worth.

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