Comments on: The entrepreneurial dilemma: Do you really have to choose?

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Fri, 11 Mar 2016 00:59:42 +0000

In reply to Caitlin.

@Caitlin – good advice. I do think it’s like anything else – you can choose to make it a priority. If it isn’t, it isn’t, but it can be done!

By: Caitlin

Caitlin — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 17:04:56 +0000

I’m a little late to comment, but the other thing about friendship is that your friends are busy too. I don’t have kids yet and my friends are just starting to have them, but we are about 1-2 hours apart geographically. I don’t know how many hours per week I spend maintaining them, but they are good solid friendships. Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and texting are great quick ways to keep in touch in between visits. My group gets together at least four times a year for an entire day. At first that sounded sad to me, but I would rather plan things out and see them four times a year than not! I also have dinner once a month with a friend from that group–we meet at a restaurant that’s halfway between us. We book the next visit at the end of the next one. Sometimes we reschedule but that’s easier than going back and forth trying to establish a time in the first place. Another friend lives closer so sometimes we have impromptu coffee dates and we often carpool to other friend events together, which gives us more time together. The reality is that after college (which is where I met most of my group) it’s tough to get together, even without kids and even if you live near each other. Accept that reality and work around it.

By: Greta

Greta — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 06:48:40 +0000

I absolutely agree with Angela. I used to think that I had to schedule everything in 24 hrs but Laura made me think in 168 hrs. Her work has been absolutely life changing for me. And the idea about a children’s book is fantastic! Anyway if we can change a parent’s perspective, she will pass it on to her children.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Sat, 06 Feb 2016 03:02:43 +0000

In reply to lauravanderkam.

If people really are not sleeping, then I can imagine they’d feel like they can’t fit everything in. Walking around in a sleepy stupor makes it hard to use your hours well at all!

Plus, I always lack motivation when I’m tired, so I tend to be aimless and slow-moving.

By: SHU

SHU — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 21:44:33 +0000

I think it’s all shades of gray here. I feel like I do most of those things, but like you said – not “peak week Boston-training” style.

This week, I have worked out every day except Monday, had lunch with a friend two days, worked full time, saw the kids for at least some time every day and attended a school event, spent some time with my husband alone, blogged, even (gasp) watched some TV, And I slept 7ish hours/night give or take. So, yeah.

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 13:33:11 +0000

In reply to Kristen. @Kristen - I agree, but a lot of people are delusional. It's funny how many think not sleeping is a badge of honor, as opposed to a problem.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 22:39:59 +0000

I always look at getting sleep as more of a time investment vs. a time “spend”. The time I spend sleeping ensures that I get the maximum amount of work/play done the next day.

If I don’t sleep, then there’s no way I will build a business and maintain friendships and exercise and spend time with my family.

By: Cloud

Cloud — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:12:03 +0000

I recently gave a time management workshop at UCSD. I wanted some real time logs to use to explain how to use logs to diagnose issues, so I used some old logs of mine. When we got to the part that was non-work time, I asked them what they saw, and one person joked “that you don’t have a TV.” This is not true, I have a TV, and I do watch it occasionally, but only with my husband, so that time gets classified as “time with husband.”
My point isn’t to say that TV is bad, but that we have time sinks we don’t always see, and I think that plays into the false choices like the one you describe.
But of course I’d say that. I’m trying to bootstrap a business and see my family and stay in shape and keep up with my friends. And read for fun. And a few other things. (I took up crocheting!)
BTW, I am as susceptible to this as anyone. My time sink is the internet, particularly twitter. If I’m feeling like “I don’t have enough time to do X” often I can find it by looking at how much time I’m frittering away on twitter. I love twitter and will keep using it… but moderation (and awareness) are key.

By: lauravanderkam

lauravanderkam — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 18:45:58 +0000

In reply to Ana.

@Ana (and ARC) – yep, the all-or-nothing mindset doesn’t serve people well. But it does make a good excuse, because it’s easier to claim one’s job is so big and all consuming that there is absolutely no time to exercise than to actually get up off your chair for 20 minutes a day to walk!

By: ARC

ARC — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 18:27:07 +0000

+1 to what Ana said about changing your expectations.

For me right now, “getting fit” is literally 20 minutes of walking daily. It feels too overwhelming otherwise. but yeah, I can absolutely find 20 minutes to walk.

I also said I’d “never” be able to commit to a photo-a-day project. But this year, I’m doing it. With my DSLR camera, and editing/posting the photo to Flickr daily. Yes, it’s a lot of work, but it’s maybe 20-25 minutes total once I got into a routine, and it’s improved my photography VASTLY in just one month.

What makes both of these work for me is that they are priorities and I know I have to get them done each day, so I shove other, less-fruitful things out of the way (like hours on social media/blogs).

Socially, I try to have one night out with friends each week and maybe one lunch with a work colleague (or former colleague) that serves both as socializing and “networking” even though I only choose to network with people I already know and like 🙂