I’d be willing to try do a Daycare/childcare cost survey via a Google form/sheet where everyone can see the answers. I’d just need to know what all people want to know. I’m thinking similar to the salary sheets that I have seen. (Example here https://www.askamanager.org/2019/04/how-much-money-do-you-make-3.html)

Oh academia is notorious for this “And my wife, Gloria, who compiled all the research, transcribed interviews, and edited the book…” Well if they did all that, their name should be on the cover too.

When our kids were little, my husband made significantly less than he does now (12-13 years later) and our income was nowhere near the $200K range either. The only thing we found to kind of work out (and it was STILL really expensive) was intentionally splitting our schedules to reduce the amount of daycare days needed. I’m a nurse, so at that time, I worked every other weekend and also tried to work out a set schedule with my employer. I always worked a couple of fixed 3-11:30 pm evening shifts per week so that most weeks we only needed 2-3 days of daycare (we had a sitter cover the 2:00-5:00 time frame for my p.m. shifts before husband got home). It was quite complicated in many ways (combo of daycare + babysitters…) and scheduling was a constant headache, but we did make it work- and at least it helped a bit to cut the cost overall. For a while, I voluntarily worked a “double” every other week (16 1/2 hour shift!!) in order to get an extra week day off. Good times. Ha. I believe the most we ever budgeted for daycare for our 2 kids was $1,200/ month total (for part time!) which still seemed like a ton to me at the time, especially on our previous incomes. I think we usually spent in the $900/month range though for ~2 days/ week at daycare center ($55/day x2 kids in midwest). (This was years ago now, though-my kids are 11 and 12 now, so I guess I’m not sure what current daycare rates are). However, if you are both in a set Monday-Friday job, I suppose this splitting shifts idea might not be an option, either!!

@CZ – yep…something I have noticed as well. I am a curious person, so I have thought about why. I guess on some level it’s because people who want to make a name for themselves tend to be very ambitious (as one needs to in order to even want to be seen as a guru/expert/thought leader). The default mindset for an ambitious man is to have a partner who down-prioritizes a career in order to prioritize theirs. Of course, this doesn’t have to be the mindset. I consider myself very ambitious and aspire, on some level, to be a guru/expert/thought leader. But it never occurred to me that I needed to seek out a partner who with limited ambitions so he could make sure the house was quiet while I recorded my podcast, give input on each draft of an article, or read my manuscripts aloud to me so I could hear how they sounded (as I recall from one acknowledgements…)

I agree. Almost all of the male senior executives at my company have stay at home wives. It would be great to hear the male perspective on how to make dual careers work.

@Sarah K – I would imagine you’d probably make more working at the urgent care than you would save by making your own laundry detergent!